Do you have a “Book-it List”? You may be familiar with the phrase bucket list, which is the list of things you'd like to do or accomplish in a certain period or before the end of your life. I didn't mispronounce the word. The phrase I used was book-it list, for those of you who have a list of books you love and adore (or, if you're not a reader, movies you love). These are the stories you could read or watch over and over again. If you had a magic wand and could jump into a book or movie scene and become that character, what would you choose?
We'd like to be the main character–not just in the stories, but in our real life, but ‘real life’ gets in the way. When someone walks into a room confidently, we can tell they like themselves. They have a certain energy that radiates off them, called main-character energy, which is what we all want for ourselves. When our main character is shy, we still want to matter. Even if we're not conventionally attractive, we still want to make an impact when we enter a room. If people label us as too young, too old, too white, too black, too gay, too straight, too much… Whatever people told us, whatever lines they gave us, we want more. We want to live lives we are proud of.
I want to invite you to the reality that no matter who you are today, no matter what you look like, what your bank account is, what your living arrangement is, whatever you are wearing, you can become the main character in your life and bring in those things from your books and movies that you love. You can bring main character energy into your real life quickly and easier than you might suppose.
I will share a few things that I have found work to make this happen for a dowdy middle-aged lady who's a little overweight. I'm not anyone in particular. I'm a wife and a mom. I work in a nursing home, and I write good books. Not great, just good, but they're good enough for what I want for my life. Most days, I love my life, and I love myself.
I'm not anyone exceptional, but there are three things I have learned and chosen to do that make my life what I want it to be today:
Decide who you want to be now. Some of you already are who you want to be, and more power to you. Please help the rest of the people around you get there, because we all want what you have. I decided I wanted to indulge my inner child. I wear tulle skirts even if they are inappropriate for adults outside of formal events. I wear sparkly nail polish. I have bright red hair, and sometimes I have multicolored hair. I decided I wanted to have fun with my appearance. The logo for my writing business came about from my signature look of red lipstick and vintage cat-eye glasses. Whatever else I wear, people know it's me with the glasses and lips. That's my main-character energy. That's who I want to be in this world.
Prioritize what gives you joy. I had to ask myself some hard questions about what makes me feel happy, and you know what's not on that list? Social media. I can spend an hour on social media, but it doesn't light me up like reading a paper book does. It doesn't fill my cup the way talking with a friend does. It doesn't make me feel as good about myself as taking some extra time with my appearance for the day. So, I have learned to avoid social media first thing in the morning until I've done some of the other things that fill me up.
Use your mouth to get what you want. I use my mouth to speak and get what I want. I use my mouth to tell people how I need to be treated. I use my mouth to encourage myself with affirmations. I use my mouth to set boundaries with myself and my friends and family so they know what I expect from them. I'm able to ask them what they expect from me. All of my relationships are more satisfying and more thrilling, and I can bring that main character energy into them.
When you implement these tools for yourself, you can live the Main-Character Life instead of using books to escape life. You will understand what I've learned through all the pages I have turned; I'm the only one who can be the main character in my life, and you are already the main character in yours.
Music: "Lucky Star" by Madonna
