Every Christmas Eve for the last 45 years I have watched Frank Capra’s It’s a Wonderful Life;
I am sure that I am not alone in this. More on that later. . . .
Every New Year’s Eve for the last 20+ years, my wife and I have celebrated the big night at our home with four of our dearest friends; two couples at our home and with collectively our six children who, after so many Times Square ball-drops, are all adults now, and have better things to do on New Year’s Eve. That leaves six friends and the fondue. We prepare and eat three delectable courses of fondue: cheese, meat & veggie, and finally, chocolate. I suspect that I may be more alone in this annual celebration of friendship, love and the new year compared to the number of those who watch It’s a Wonderful Life.
Our time around the table always begins with cheese fondue, my favorite of the three courses. Three delicious varieties of cheese are melted together, and then we dip sourdough bread, apple slices and cauliflower. This decadent starter course mirrors the early phases of any relationship: fresh and boundless opportunity for good and better. This is my thesis: fondue equals life; each course represents a phase of our magnificent friendship. We’ve been breaking sourdough bread together for so many years that the conversation inevitably involves looking back over decades, not just the year that is about to be last year.
It should be noted that given my decidedly dramatic disposition, I am most definitely alone in seeing our fondue tradition each fondue course as representative of a phase in human relationships. This is an important point! I am dramatic. I am alone. Or am I?
The second fondue course is meat (well, steak), which has evolved into the meat (well, steak) and veggie course (friendships do require room for growth, I guess). To fondue meat (well, steak) and / or veggies requires boiling oil, which can be dangerous and is certainly messy. If dangerous and messy sounds like a spot-on description of growing older, well it is. We all need help along the way, and these four friends have always been there to help us. I know that I’d be lost without our friends at our New Year’s Eve table. This mix of meat (well, steak) and produce has the potential to devolve into conflict.
The meat (well, steak) course is a fine example of how compromise can be helpful; I prefer my meat (well, steak) medium-rare, but my vegetarian friend likes her mushrooms crispy and uncontaminated by medium-rare meat (well, medium rare steak), so rather than come to blows, we let our years of friendship forge a scientifically dubious compromise; she keeps her fondue fork with its fungal attachment far from mine in the pot full of boiling peanut oil. Sometimes even the best of friends might need to annoy each other; so, I’m not above pursuing my vegetarian friend’s crispy mushroom with my barely boiled meat (well, steak). Sometimes even the best of friends might make a mistake, and it’s from a place of love that I direct my crispy-mushroom- friend to the mushroom that “fell off” her fondue fork.
Fondue debris as a metaphor for helping each other get back up after making a mistake; that’s what friends do.
Admit it, you’ve been impatiently waiting for the third course: chocolate fondue. We dip strawberries and pound cake, among other delectables. in the chocolate fondue. If you feel like my theory on the fondue representing the phases of relationships is too convenient, too simplistic, well, let me tell you that there is frequently discussion during the chocolate course about the` six of us living in a commune during our senior years. So maybe there is something to this fondue equals life equation . . . Just a small digression before I wrap up, Just before we see the last shot of It’s a Wonderful Life, we see the wisdom of Clarence written as. an inscription to George in Mark Twain’s latest book:
“Remember no man is a a failure who has friends. Thanks for the wings! Love Clarence Atta boy , Clarence!
There’s much to look forward to in 2026 . . .in nine days, I turn 60, the Chicago Cubs will celebrate the tenth anniversary of their World Series Championship by doing it all over again and in 363 days our dear friends will gather once more at our table to ring in 2027 with three courses of fondue.
Wishing you a new year that is filled with great friends, great health and peace in our world.
Music: "Friendship" from Anything Goes, sung by Patti LuPone and Bill McCutcheon
