After lollygagging around Europe this summer, I decided to get a job to help pay off the debt from my adventures! I haven’t worked full time for 15 years. I’ve mostly enjoyed staying home with our two daughters and I’m grateful for my hubby going to work every day of the week. While I have worked here and there outside of the home, now that our kids are older and more than capable, it’s back to work for me!
I knew I wanted to do activities in a senior living community and I wanted to work part time. After interviewing at three different places, I got an offer with Aviva Valparaiso…for FULL TIME. I didn’t want to work full time. I really liked the people and the atmosphere. My prospective boss seemed kind and engaged in the residents. Despite being more hours than I meant to work, I took the job. It was the first I’d worked full time since having my kids, so you can imagine my family had a bit of an adjustment period!
It was hard going back to a daily job and trying to arrange to have my family get where they needed to go. I’m grateful for friends and a flexible schedule. Then the small matter of keeping the house tidy and getting dinner of some sort on a table somewhere. My free time was reduced and as the start of school loomed, tensions were high. Target got all our back-to-school money in one big gross shopping trip complete with Starbucks Frappuccino for everybody. (Because, paycheck!)
As the first few weeks went by, our family kept up the conversation about how things were different and what each of us could do depending on the day to keep the ship shipshape…or at least Upright! I often texted or wrote out a few reasonable tasks for our daughters to complete before I arrived home. The kids balked at having more to do, and they sometimes felt lonely being home alone without a parent. This made me feel…really sad. Appreciated, but sad. (But….PAYCHECK!) It wasn’t just the money that kept me going, of course. I love my work. It is both easy and very hard. I feel I can really help people and be a silly light in some dark spots. I am a helper and a connector and above all a gloriously ‘peopley’ people person.
Even as an extrovert, I would feel drained at the end of my workday, only to come home to…more people. And THEY didn’t think I was awesome, to them I am just Mama. And they didn’t pay me to be there, either. I would leave my work where I felt important and wonderful, to come home to my family who would just continue about their days. ( No Paycheck!) I needed to find some me time in my busier schedule.
I got up EARLY to build some personal space for me in the wee hours of the morning. I could sip my coffee and read and journal and have the whole house to myself. I started to REALLY enjoy the weekend. Before working, I had many days off and they often bled together. With fewer days of leisure, non-working days became more enjoyable and precious.
We bumped along the first month finding our new normal. Getting the first full time paycheck was AWESOME. I bought myself a little something from Blessed Be Magik…a necklace I’d had my eye on for a while. Honoring my new efforts felt good. I felt valued at work, more important at home, and my husband has always carried more than half the load, so the world kept right on spinning.
Then school started. Apparently, I have a highschooler this year? And a 7th grader? I missed even seeing the highschooler leave to catch a 6:30am bus for orientation. I didn’t get to say DFTBA, our Nerdfighterese for “Don’t Forget To Be Awesome!” I had some mom guilt. That ish is REAL. I felt sad and unneeded and all the things. Meanwhile, the kid we’ve raised to be independent…was catching her bus--independently. This season of life is chock full of changes. Kids growing up, new jobs, different paths and new adventures. I’m glad Fazoli’s has a $25 family dinner to carry out. I’m grateful we have a programmable coffee maker at 5am. Moments with my kids can feel sweeter…or not if they are busy. That’s fine. No really…just read your book, hang out with your friends, stare into space; I can…I will just go into work. Have a great day and DFTBA!
Music: "Changes" by David Bowie
