Like many people in the world today, I find myself in desperate need of delightful distraction. Many times I choose to doom scroll a little bit or I sit and stare at a wall. I often pick up a scintillating book and dive into a completely different world where the things that are happening in my world are not happening in theirs. Sometimes this isn't enough. Sometimes I am sad and angry and overwhelmed and I need to work harder to find a delightful distraction.
Recently I made a new friend, Annette. Like me, she's older, has kids and isn't built like a supermodel. We hit it off right away because she loves my books, which I deeply appreciate. I fell in love with her because of something she brought into my life I didn't realize was possible: beginner ballet for adults. Now let me be real clear with you, friends. I like myself immensely. Okay? I work hard on myself, and yet– what you're looking at is a 53-year-old 222 lb woman who has never taken a ballet class in her entire life.
I probably wanted to take ballet. I was a little girl with stringy hair and a vast vocabulary, struggling to be heard in a tumultuous childhood where the adults also struggled. While I lived a very good life, it did not include all the trappings kids today have at their fingertips. There was no ballet or golf for 4-year-olds or Mommy and me anything. Just my mom meeting a friend at McDonald's and me being told to be quiet the entire time as I tried to join the conversation. There were no sparkly shoes and princess t-shirts in the '70s. We had those unflattering Garanimals in hideous colors like orange and brown, all of it without sparkle.
As I've grown older, I've been able to spend money on things that delight my inner child and my adult self. Until I met Annette, I didn't realize adult beginner ballet could be one of those things. My heart beat wildly and my spirit soared as I considered the actual possibility of me taking a beginner ballet class. Yes, at my age. Yes at my weight. Yes, even though I would never become the gorgeous prima ballerina of my little girl dreams.
Class is on Mondays at 6:00 in Merrillville at Indiana Ballet Theater, or as us dancers call it, IBT. I coaxed Annette to drive with me because it's always easier to be nervous with a friend there. She had been taking ballet for about 6 months and the class was drop in and only $15 so there was no commitment. She said I could wear whatever I want. Ha! Like I was showing up in anything less than a ballet outfit.
I already had Blogilates shorts with a tulle skirt. I ordered ballet slippers and tights from the Amazon. Unfortunately the pink ballet tights I ordered were way too tight and they were not, in fact a 2XL. Not in this country anyway. They kept sliding down and I had my blogilates shorts over them but they struggled to keep those tights up. By the time we arrived, I went to the bathroom, removed the tights and stuffed them into my bag. Serving pasty white bare legs with my little shorts and skirt and pink ballet slippers. I was already self-conscious, so my fluorescent legs were a lot of fun.
I tentatively asked my friend to take pictures of me as I posed in the room before class by the barre. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't care. I was giddy with the fruition of a childhood dream. It didn't matter that the dream was differently shaped, as I was now differently shaped. I expected I would need to delete the pictures immediately, but when I looked at them with the love I have cultivated for my little self just as I am, I found them to be delightful and flattering.
Oh, the class? You want to hear about the actual ballet class and not just the outfit? Let me be frank. 50% of my desire to do a ballet class is for the outfits. This is a good thing because my skill is not improving anytime soon. We do a half hour on the barre doing plies and different positions. I kind of flail my arms the way I think they're supposed to be flailed. Then we do floor shenanigans I fumble through. I feel good learning something new. There are all kinds of ages and levels in the class. And yes, different bodies.
Adult Beginner ballet is my happy place. I think about that one hour a week every day. If ballet isn’t your thing, pursue whatever is! Let your inner child lead the way to a delightful distraction from adulting.
Music: "Blank Space" (Taylor Swift) performed by Vitamin String Quartet
