Two years ago Chasten Buttigieg decided to adapt his bestselling 2020 memoir, I Have Something to Tell You, for young adults. He wanted this version to be less about his experiences as the husband of presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg in 2019, and more about what it was like to grow up gay in a conservative small town in northern Michigan.
But something he didn’t expect has happened over those two years. Conservatives have begun a coordinated effort nationally to roll back the LGBTQ community’s hard-fought wins. According to the Human Rights Campaign, a record 70 anti-LGBTQ laws have been passed in state legislatures so far this year, many of them targeting transgender people.
If you’re a young person who’s something other than straight and binary, Buttigieg says you need allies now more than ever.
Buttigieg has been traveling the country this summer to promote the book, and that tour brings him back to South Bend. At 7 p.m. Thursday he’ll be at the Main Library downtown. He’ll discuss his book with Brain Lair Books owner Kathy Burnette in the library’s Leighton Auditorium, followed by a Q&A and book signing.
The tour has brought him to over 35 cities, including his hometown near Traverse City, Michigan where he and Pete live with their toddler twins, Gus and Penelope, and their rescue dogs, Truman and Buddy. He says he’s eager to return to South Bend, the city, after all, where he fell in love.
"There are a lot of people I need to see, a lot of places I need to go, and I'm really excited," Buttigieg said. "It feels like a homecoming of sorts."
In adapting the book for young adults, Buttigieg de-emphasized its parts about the campaign and instead focused on his experience as a teen who was gay and afraid to tell anyone in his rural, conservative town.
While Buttigieg retooled the book to let young LGBTQ people know they aren’t alone, and things get better as they grow up, he also hopes the adults in their lives, especially their parents and educators, read it.
"So much of what I want to say isn't to them because they're the ones who are just trying to survive, trying to get through their day, and don't want to be focused on trivial things like book bans. Some students, especially LGBTQ students, just want to go to school, learn, go home and enjoy being a young person. They should be enjoying childhood. Most of what I want to say is to their allies. You have to let people know that you have their back. Maybe that means running for school board. Maybe that means supporting your school board. Maybe that means as administrators, letting your teachers know that you have their backs. And for LGBTQ people in your community, they want to know you have their backs too."
As an example, Buttigieg pointed to the August 18 fatal shooting of Laura Ann Carleton, a Los Angeles area store owner who was killed for hanging a Pride flag outside her store. Carleton wasn’t LGBTQ but she was adamant about flying the flag to show support for those who are. A man ripped down the flag and shouted homophobic insults before shooting her.
While Buttigieg doesn’t expect allies to knowingly risk their lives, he says their help is needed now more than ever.
"I just don't want people to see something like that and think, I should probably take my Pride flag down. Put them out. Put your Pride flag out. Wear the shirt. Post the meme on social media. Fly the flag. And then ask yourself, what more can I do? Do I need to show up at a school board meeting? Do I need to send a note to my kid's teacher just to let them know I have their back?
"But how am I being an active ally? I think this is a season for active allyship. We can't just all be sitting on the sidelines hoping that it gets better."
For all of his concern, Buttigieg said he remains optimistic about the future. He was asked whether he thinks there will ever be a day when the vast majority of people recognize that sexual orientation isn’t something you choose, it’s something you are.
"I do believe that we will get there one day, and I believe that many people want to be on the right side of history. But it's also important to remember that a majority of the American people are already there. The majority of American people support marriage equality ... and civil rights protections for LGBTQ people. So it's not the fact that America isn't ready. It's the way that our democracy is shaped and the way that the people who represent our democracy in Washington and in state capitols who aren't making it happen."
Advance tickets are required for the event. The $25 price includes a copy of the book.
